1) Computer is fixed
2) I am very angry at someone right now, someone who none of you know. I have no compunctions posting this here, because she has already broken any and every bond of trust I would expect of any fellow human being. However, I am posting this here first because I'm not sure how much I want to post it on facebook. I think I would like to hit her without a warning, first.
Here's where you went wrong. Lack of sympathy? Understandable. Sense of vindication? A little heartless, but okay. But let me tell you your mistake.
You drank with her. You may not have sipped an alcoholic beverage, you may not have consumed anything at all. But you sat there, and not only were you there – in a place you no longer belong – but you kissed her. I don't care who initiated it and fuck I wouldn't care that you kissed her at all, except for what you did afterwards.
And what you did afterwards was inexcusable.
Because what it comes down to is that you shared something. You were there for her, maybe not consciously, maybe not with any real intent. But you were there, at her dorm, and there was obviously something wrong. It would have been apparent to anyone with any sense at all that something was wrong, even a nineteen year old who's about as mature as my fourteen year old sister. So you were there. You knew something was wrong, and in some way and on some level you were there for her. You kissed her back, after all. I know.
Then, after that, you committed an act of ultimate betrayal.
You talked about this act of comradery in a negative fashion – a crime that's not too bad, after all. Low level. I would have excused it if I'd heard of it. The really horrible part is that you not only did it in public, but you did it on your ever-loving, mother-fucking facebook. On your facebook, where all five hundred and twenty four friends could see. And of those, it was pretty readily apparent to at least fifty who you were talking about. Hell, I didn't even know you'd fucking seen her yesterday, but I read your status and I knew who you were talking about.
Do you understand how utterly inexcusable that is? How horrible? How very, awfully, thoughtlessly low? I'm talking about six feet below the belt. To cut to the chase:
you shared something with her, something personal and raw, and then you exposed those feelings and that sharing with the entire fucking world.
You showed no regard for how she would feel about you airing, and if you know anything about her you know that she doesn't share willingly or readily.
You showed no respect for her situation, a situation in which you have been in yourself, not too long ago.
You verily broadcast something that every person goes through, and that no person needs to know about unless personally invited.
You betrayed something precious, and you betrayed someone who needs no more hurt and no more hard knocks from this world.
Do you know what this makes you? This makes you a fucking traitor. This makes you a failure as a human being, a failure of someone who should have the common sense and moreover the decency to realize when something is private. When something is personal. When something is closed.
You went somewhere you no longer belonged. You entered her home. You drank with her. You shared breaths with her. You pretended to play the sympathizer, and then you went home. You went home and you fouled up any aspect of that relationship that might have been salvaged. You committed an act that I will never forget and I will never forgive. I have been there for you, Fobazi. And I have never asked anything of you for it; and I have never shared your grief with the world; and you would never have dreamed that I would. I had little respect for you before this, for your shirking ways and your immaturity, but now I have none. I have no respect for you as a human being, let alone as a separate and distinguished person. I am absolutely and thoroughly enraged at you and your filth, and you have never seen me angry. I warn you. Steer clear, my precious traitor. Steer far, far clear, or you will regret more than just this.
