#8

Elizabeth
What brings me pain should really
give me joy;
what I fear will tear us apart
is meant to bring us close.
I can't sleep or dream;
memories are torment
instead of shelter.
Why is it that in these times
the best of news is really worst?
Even when he's here
I'm all alone,
every inch of me in crying.

(pain)

#7

pain, me

It's hard to stay, to try and be your friend.
You tell me truths and tales to make me cry
and all I do is hide my tears and sighs.
To be true friends I must forget our end.
Misguidedly I run towards this pain
because I hope to learn and grow instead
of hoping foolish hopes, filling my head
with new ideas, not our former joyous fame.
I don't know if I love you any more,
but it's true that you still make me cry
much quicker than other boys I've let fly.
So pain helps me slam shut our closing door.
For though I hurt we've gone our separate ways,
and better that than fight for all our days.

September #12

I run to corners,
lick my wounds,
fill them with salt.

I bandage my wounds,
wait for scabs,
rip them off.

I let blood dry,
watch and wait,
and pull the skin open again,

This is how I heal,
slowly, painfully.
I cannot resist the horrible delight,
cannot stay away from my wounds,
know that I hurt myself and still
never stop.

May #12

I feel like I've paid
for the wreck of the day,
the traffic jam I'm found within me

I feel like I've gone
through the pain,
it shouldn't be long
til I'm breathing again

I feel like I've lost
the security I had
feel like I'm tossed
on seas gone mad

I don't know what to say
I don't know how
to make you understand
I feel alone now.

I want to be there,
lie in your arms,
and know that you really do care.