October #4

let's talk about tired,
about waiting up
on foolish excuses
because of silly fears.

let's talk about tired,
about wasting the night away
on one boy, one hope,
because of long loves.

let's talk about tired,
about burning time
plunking at the keyboard,
because of school or research.

let's talk about tired,
the kind of tired that stays with you
even after you've slept every night,
ten hours,
twelve hours,
fourteen hours,
and you still
can't
get
out

of your bed.

September #28

I have this goal for this month
more poems than I've written for any other month
Guess what?
Here it is,
my page for September.
Like Langston.
I'm pretty sure I'm spelling that wrong.
Is that heretical?
Must I be perfect?
Can't I just know,
and trust that my spelling is usually right?
Or must I always prove myself?
Sometimes it seems that way,
as if simply because I choose the less popular view,
I devalue myself and my abilities,
when really I am better suited for other posts.
But enough human vanity.
Let me sleep, and dream.

September #10

she's tired
and wonders
what would happen if she just walked away
for a day
or a week
or a month,
just took up her personals
and wandered out of life.
where would she go?
and who would follow her?
she's tired,
endlessly tired,
and watches the rain thunder down,
wonders if something's wrong with her
or if she just needs a good night of sleep.

May #10

I could stay up and not sleep at all,
finish my novel,
sip hot tea,
pet the dog,
be poetic and ridiculous.
But I could be pragmatic,
and return to bed,
and be slightly less cranky
for two hours of sleep.

The first appeals more to me,
but then I remember
that boy I've left in bed
and I know where my heart lies.
He will not wake up without me.
It is simple;
I return,
novel unfinished,
essay unwritten,
water hot on the stove.

Love comes first.

April #2

ne regrette jamais
that's what it comes down to,
isn't it?

don't ever look back.
don't ever let yourself think
about those other mistakes.

don't let them be mistakes,
let them be - ha -
learning experiences.

make everything a positive because
if you like who you are,
then it has to be a positive.

because theoretically,
you learned, you grew.

can't you ever
in your perfection
admit to an error?

you fucked up, messed up,
ruined it all.
don't tell me je ne regrette jamais,
don't fool yourself.

otherwise
you would sleep at night.