April #5

Do you think
are you trying to say
that I'm manipulative?
It seems like you are,
in this conversation which
is like so many others of ours,
where we cannot talk directly
and only
indicate things with
metaphors
what-ifs
pretend statements.
It would be so much simpler,
refreshing, even,
if we could step outside of this web
where you and I are polite,
and just bitch each other out,
if that's what you're looking for.

I don't know.
I might have been manipulative,
but I was in love.
I am in love.
I don't think
I could manipulate truly
someone who I love,
but instead I would stumble in the process,
realize what I was doing,
and stop.
Because I believe in choice,
and I won't be the girl
who wished for love
then spent the rest of her life
wondering if it was real -
or if it was only because of her wish.
Things come at their own pace,
and perhaps
I encourage them.
But
I think
it was not manipulation.
I reminded him of what I was,
what I could be,
and he missed me.

Can it be so very simple?
Or are these more lies?